My daddy taught me how to love my haters...

We all know that moment. We’re scrolling through Facebook or Instagram and BAM! That chick posted another picture of her healthy ass meal as I sit here enjoying my second serving of _________ (candy, wine, chips...all of the above). Then I scroll back up and I see:

Today you're having happy hour with her, the friend-

Here’s the thing...

I get it.

I understand that I post a lot of pictures of my freaking adorable children. Children that are ridiculously perfect. I’m talking well-behaved, smart, compassionate, thoughtful, silly kids. Does my son have to be forcefully removed from me, like my boots when I was pregnant? Yes. Does Taylah have some sass? Yes (that’s apparently a nurture vs. nature trait…). Do they literally MEAN MUG people that compliment them and say hello? Yes.

I understand that I speak highly of my marriage…a marriage that we work our asses off to make happy and fulfilling for both of us. Are there hard times? Yes. Are there ugly arguments? Yes. Do I constantly forget to close cabinets? Yes. Did I ruin a third of his t-shirts in the laundry? Yes.

The hardship in our lives doesn’t make the good moments any less beautiful. It makes them more beautiful. The fact that my kids don’t act perfectly all the time doesn’t make them any less perfect. The fact that T and I have overcome some serious issues together and the one thing that has never wavered is our loyalty to one another is what makes me even more proud of our marriage. Is my life perfect? NO. Would I put all the negative things in our lives out there? HELL NO. Why would I give the negative stuff that much air time? Let me be clear. Life has not always been an easy ride. Some of the hardship I went through was self-inflicted, some wasn’t. I have remained grateful throughout my life and it is the reason I can be happy in the hard times. I want to celebrate that for this moment, life is GOOD. Apparently I’m not alone. There are good things happening in a lot of people’s lives. So, when I see a post like this, I feel a bit like we all felt when this happened: 

Like, you may have a valid point, but why do you feel the need to hate on someone’s moment?

I think you should honestly ask yourself why seeing someone else in a good space is making you upset. I get some people may be full of shit, but who cares?!  They might just be able to look past the hardship and see how absolutely blessed they are. You just look a little resentful from where I’m sitting… which is 20 lbs heavier than I want to be with medical bills surrounding me from a head injury, multiple seizures and diagnostic imaging for an upcoming surgery, in an apartment that I wish had a big yard. My son is in our bed right now, a bed that is broken.  My daughter is at her mommy’s, like she is for half of the holidays. We just bought a new kitchen table this weekend and the chair that I’m sitting in is already damaged. I could go on, but why? Why give this stuff air time? Life is not perfect. Of course it’s not perfect. It’s never going to be perfect. But you know what? When baby boy and little girl are cracking up and holding hands in the back seat- it feels perfect. When my husband and I meet eyes from across the room when our daughter says she wants to be a fire engine when she grows up when she meant to say fire fighter- it feels perfect. When my son holds my face and says “I, too” (I love you, too)- it feels perfect. When I get a weekend to BBQ and play games with my family- it feels perfect. When I spend the afternoon laughing my ass off with my girls and drinking too many mojitos- it feels perfect.  

Celebrate the good times. Those that genuinely want the best for you, will be celebrating with you. They will be happy you shared that moment with them. It will make them feel closer when they can’t be.  We all know life is not all good times, have your moments and let others have them, too. You have no idea what fight they are fighting behind closed doors. Plus, if they posted about that, you would probably resent them for that, too:

Once again, CHILL OUT. It’s okay. Let them be happy. Let them post about their healthy ass meal- they made an extremely difficult lifestyle change and they are proud of themselves, as they should be. Plus, they had to eat that for lunch and it looks foul. Let them be happy about having a good man- they finally got out of the terrible relationship they were in for far too long…and now you don’t have to hear them complain about the same thing over and over again. Let them talk about how awesome their kids are- they should love their kids, they are creating the future and you want them to raise good humans. Let them post about their vacation- they have always wanted to travel and finally get to. Let them post that selfie- they just took a really good picture...and if they're anything like me, that took like 10 takes. Live and let live. Your shade isn't going to dim their light; it's just going to keep you in the dark. I do like your sass, though. Keep the sass, lose the hate. 

CHEERS! 

*** SIDE NOTE: I was cracking up because I literally got texts last week from people thinking I was hitting up happy hour every evening. As fun as that would be, my family is more fun…and important. I thought I should let the world know- the pics are saved (like the cosmo above from this weekend). I am probably getting happy hour this week though because…

…or actually because I haven't gotten together with my girls in way too long. Pictures will likely be posted- think of it as homework for the haters ;)

Pin Sins

I adore Pinterest...especially now that I'll have a little bit more time on my hands. I can't say that I've done anything other than look at about 80-85% of my pins, but that's a B and I'll take it. I also love Pinterest because it's absolutely ridiculous. Case in point- pin sins.

If you are an adult and are wearing a freaking tutu, I don't even know what to say to you. Can I even be real with you? You are not a little girl anymore. The only time it's remotely appropriate for you to be wearing a tutu past elementary age is if you are playing with your child who is of elementary age. I get it- you're feminine and have a child-like spirit, so wear pink or wear a headband or just wear the polka dot top. But please, save the tulle for your daughter. If you HAVE to wear the tulle skirt, we can still be friends...just don't complain to me about your adult boyfriend playing video games. (Pin Win: everything else!)

Ultimately, Pinterest is not to blame for this one....Rihanna and Miley Cyrus are. That being said, WHO IS PINNING THIS?! Why are bowl cuts coming back?! They need to stay where they belong- with the JNCOS, Lee Pipes and my dreams of being the fourth member of Salt n Pepa. If bleaching your eye brows and getting a bowl cut is high fashion, you can find me at Target. Who am I kidding? You can find me there anyway...(Pin Win: hair cut and color ideas...that aren't bowl cuts)

Okay, I admit that this stuff is adorable. I'm sure little girl and baby boy would get a good laugh over snack art, but really?! I'm just teaching them to pray before they eat and be thankful they have food on their plate when so many kiddos don't. Do I really need to cut their cheese into a festive collar and get the grape to magically stay in that gap in order for them to enjoy it? It seems a little excessive to me. Plus, am I the only one with a toddler that literally supervises my time in the kitchen? I'm lucky if I can prep a meal without a baby on my hip the whole time, I can't imagine if I was also plating like this. All my kids care about is getting to help me cook, sitting at the table all together to eat and getting meal time over with so can get back to playing. (Pin Win: meal ideas)

Get it together, people. First of all, I guarantee if you are reading how to flirt with your husband that when you try to execute the tips you are going to look ridiculous (just me?). Secondly, I have to believe that I will never get so out of touch with T that I forget how to connect with him. I don't want to say flirt because flirting is what I did when I was in middle school and judging by the amount of boys that dumped me for the girls that were willing to touch their PART, it didn't get me too far. I agree with the message behind this creepy pin, but you know your husband best. You know what you need to do, so do it. (Pin Win: date night ideas)

I can smell this coat from here. I don't even know what else to say. (Pin Win: I don't know, I'm too distracted by the fringe detailing!)

These are available for purchase on Etsy. I don't know what is more appalling. Wearing slippers that say "Hoochie Mama" on them or wearing maxi-pads on your feet....well really, wearing maxi pads anywhere at anytime other than after child birth (I still dream of that ice diaper...). I also want to know how the originator of the Maxi-Pad Slipper came up with this idea. Did they accidentally step on a pad? Was it just to irresistibly comfortable? I can't. (Pin Win: real red bottoms) 

I am ALWAYS up for seeing more Pin Sins, so feel free to share some with me! Until next time...

HAPPY NATIONAL MARTINI DAY!!!

Cheers! 

Choose love

I am freaking the F out.

My hubs and I are going to have our first kid-less weekend since baby boy was born almost 2 years ago (pouty mom post about kids growing up too fast to come, I’m sure). We had an overnight date in the ED recently, but T had a head injury so it was mostly spent worrying, sleeping (him, not me) and CT scans. His concussion did have him acting a little like he was drunk though, so I guess there was that date night similarity ;). The point is- WE GET 40 HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED US TIME. Staycation, here we come!! There are about a million ways I could go from here, depending on what angle I’m looking at. Today, I am choosing to talk as…

her, the wife-

My hubs is ridiculous. I would choose him again a million times over and plan to choose him every day for the rest of our lives. Today I was running home on my lunch break to give him the car and see my fellas for a bit, so I asked if he would grab something for me to eat on the road. I get home and he had packed me a lunch complete with a GRILLED sandwich with all my favorites, strawberries AND chips and licorice ( Lord knows I would never allow myself to pack chips and candy for lunch because I like to fool myself into thinking I eat healthy…until I get home and start snacking while I make dinner). This is just one example of the sweet things he does for me that make me feel so blessed and so loved. I know he just grilled a sandwich…but seriously?! He lets me know how important I am to him in everything he does, even packing a lunch. Sometimes I see couples posting extravagant vacation pics and beautiful homes and I get a pang of jealousy. I would love to be going somewhere exotic this weekend or living in a big beautiful house with him. Then it hits me…building a life with someone is not glamorous, but it’s still romantic.

I keep hearing some version of “I just want someone that’s established,” or “I need to get everything in line first”. Every time I hear this, I cringe. I completely understand it and I think when it works that way, it’s a blessing. It’s not easy building a life with someone. It would be much easier to meet someone after you each individually successful. I just think building a life with someone is unappreciated these days. There is something so romantic about meeting someone at a difficult/inconvenient time in your life and just loving them so much that you decide to figure it out together…to be working your ass off to reach your dreams, side by side. Finding romance in a grilled sandwich or a bottle of $5 wine or in the moment the lady tries to tell the 2 bedroom apartment you’re looking at is really a luxurious unit because it has light fixtures. There is honestly nothing more romantic to me than a man that makes you breakfast in the morning after working all night instead of sleeping for the hour he has before the kids wake up. Of course, I think there are a million reasons to run if someone doesn't have their shit together by a certain age. I just urge you to listen to their story and look beyond their resume.

 “We have a tendency to want the other person to be a finished product while we give ourselves the grace to evolve.”

I read this quote the other day and was so taken by it. I see so many people, myself included, that expect so much of other people. For one, we expect them to be “established”. We also expect them to constantly be kind, understanding, patient, good drivers (just me?), in a good mood…the list can go on and on and on. We just expect them to be perfect, really. We either have no problem excusing our own faults or just don’t see them, but for some reason the faults in other people are glaringly obvious and largely unforgivable. If they don’t make enough money, they’re lazy or irresponsible. If you don’t, it’s the economy. If the waitress is slacking, she’s terrible at her job or not trying hard enough. If you’re struggling at work, you’re going through something or they gave you too much to do. You can give someone attitude, but when it’s returned they are rude. When she wears that dress, she’s trying too hard. When you wear it, you just felt like dressing up. If they wear crocs…okay, that one actually IS unforgivable. These are all things I've heard and/or I’m guilty of feeling at times. And don’t even get me started on mom frenemies! I could write an entire blog post on them…and probably will. The question is…why do we do this? Why do we ask for understanding and extend it to ourselves, but expect other people to be perfect and “established”. Whether T met me at age 23 or 40 or 65, I would still be a work in progress. Some parts of me will be better off at various ages…for example, my ass at 23 was IT, but hopefully my bank account will be IT at 40. Regardless, there will always be something that isn't perfect about another person. What about just making sure you are being the best you? What about making sure you’re established, so it doesn't matter as much where the other person is at? What about getting off your high horse and realize that you may have your ducks in a row, but you and your little ducks are always late and you were really rude to the server- two things that may be a deal breaker to the guy or girl that is still working on her bachelor’s degree and doesn't have a car. We just really need a dose of reality. No one is perfect. CHILL OUT.  It’s okay. Once you can accept that other people are as human as you, you can really start loving them. I wouldn't trade my grilled sandwich romance for the most extravagant mansion in the world. I will choose my flawed husband every day for the rest of my life and be so grateful if he chooses his flawed wife every day for the rest of his. Bottom line, choose love**. Always.

Cheers!

**I said, LOVE. If you are hanging with a man that isn’t showing his love for you in his actions (no, I don’t mean that action), then do not choose him. I repeat: DO NOT OVERLOOK THAT PART OF HIS RESUME. DO NOT CHOOSE HIM…more on that later. 

Warning Label

I did it.

I've been thinking about creating a blog for quite some time, but wrestled with a few reasons not to...

Time- this was a pretty easy fix. I just read a bunch of the motivational quotes I use to inspire me to exercise. They only work about 1/14th of the time when I use them for exercise, but they worked for this! More on that in another blog, I'm sure.

Offending someone- Okay I admit, this one I still worry about. I will begin by yelling from the rooftops that I am not claiming to have anything figured out. In fact, I sometimes leave the house with bad eyebrows and I recently read that someone with bad eyebrows shouldn't be trusted to give advice. I am not an expert in any field, especially life. None of us are. We are all trying our hardest to figure this thing out. We all have different priorities, beliefs, values, lifestyles...honestly, we are all just trying to live a life that is true to our souls and makes us happy. I am going to be opinionated on here (those of you that know me well are like, "duh."), but I also want it to be known that I am aware and respect that we aren't going to agree on everything. Odds are, I'm going to say something you don't like. Odds are, you've said things I wouldn't like either. Who cares?! The reason I've decided to look past my fear of offending someone is that, well..I know that my heart is in the right place. About 99% of the time, I'm not trying to hurt anyone. That other 1% is reserved for spiders and those inflicting harm on my babies or husband. Just like at happy hour with my girls I'll be a straight shooter, but I mean well and I'll also be the first to celebrate your wins (another round!) and soften your blows (make that two!). Oh...and I will probably cuss and talk about racy things...it's happy hour!

The point- I love writing. It's always been therapeutic for me (sorry for the novels, ex-boyfriends). I love yummy drinks and urge you to try some yourself. I LOVE girl talk, though I really need to think of a new name for that because I can't type it without seeing pink, doing a hair flip and extending the a. I love happy hour, which is really just the combination of yummy drinks and girl talk, but I don't get to go as much as I'd like to. Ultimately, it's because I feel like it :)

What to expect? posts about being her- about being a wife, mommy, step-mom, professional, student, friend, sister, daughter, ex-girlfriend, in-law, former server/bartender, dreamer, realist... the list goes on. I'll probably also post some quotes, pictures, links, recipes, reviews...anything you would talk about (say it with me) at happy hour.

I hope you enjoy reading. Cheers!